


It's Valentine's day but I'm tired and questioning our relationship

by ID_Rivera



Category: SCP Foundation
Genre: Angst, Gearsberg, Icebergs POV, M/M, Only hurt, no happy, not the happiest ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24328900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ID_Rivera/pseuds/ID_Rivera
Summary: Iceberg questions his relationship with Gears.
Relationships: Dr. Gears/Dr. Iceberg (SCP Foundation)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	It's Valentine's day but I'm tired and questioning our relationship

A thornless rose sits under the unlit lamp on the bedside table. A heart-shaped box of chocolates is open. We sip from the wine glasses in practiced unison. We feed each other the sweet, but not too sweet, chocolates.  
We undress.   
We have sex.   
And in the morning I wake up in your arms, my frigid skin against your warmth.   
Every year without fail, we do this, over and over again on the same day. We do this because we say we love each other, we say this yet we don't really feel that way, do we.   
We don't feel the _love_ , not even lust either. 

There isn't anything between us, _is there?_

So _why_ do we do this?

I wonder as I sit on the edge of the bed, holding my arms. I sit there instead of embracing you, instead of wrapping my arms around you. I'm tired, but not the sleepy kind of tired.   
I am looking away from you. You almost put your hand on my shoulder, but you retract it before your fingers even touch the fabric of my sweater.   
_I hoped you had instead of pulling away._  
Do you actually care about me? What made you accept that rose if you didn't _genuinely_ love me?  
Why did I give you that rose?  
Did _I_ even love you?  
Or was it an excuse to stay here?1

The only light in the room comes from the lamp on the bedside table. The light coming from the window is low. It's cloudy outside. The smell of rain is in the air.  
The walls remind me of you.   
Monotone.   
Sometimes when I try to talk to you it feels like I'm talking to a wall. Do you actually listen to me? _Hear me?_ Or are my words drowned out by the gears in your head?   
Do you even _care_ for my words?  
Do you care about me?

Why do I care about what _you_ think?

It is silent between us.   
The thornless rose sits under the lamp on the bedside table. The heart-shaped box of chocolates is open but no one is eating from it. The wine glasses are empty.   
We are dressed.   
We sit apart from each other on the bed.   
I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, you on the center.   
No words between us, only silence, until you break it.

_"Iceberg"_  
Julien, it's Julien.  
 _"Is something the matter?"_  
Of course there is Charles, _of course there is._

You don't say anything else.   
You don't put your hand on my shoulder or your arms around me.   
I hold the sides of my arms, tighter, I'm hugging myself.   
I feel something in my throat, I swallow, I do not answer.   
You don't speak again, you take my silence, you walk away. 

I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, the lamp is lit, I look down at the floor, at my feet, you don't see the frozen flake on my cheek or my trembling.   
_But I'm not trembling because I'm cold._

**Author's Note:**

> Footnotes:  
> 1\. *at the foundation
> 
> -Feel free to leave any critique in the comments!


End file.
